


Just another winter’s tale

by youstupidplonk



Category: Ashes to Ashes (UK TV), Life on Mars & Related Fandoms, Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Angst, Annie Cartwright - Freeform, Annie-Centric, CID being a family, Christmas Angst, F/M, Gen, Gene Hunt - Freeform, Hurt, I meant for this fic to be short oops, Jackie Queen - Freeform, Mourning, Phyllis Dobbs - Freeform, Sam Tyler - Freeform, Time Period: 1973-1981 (Life on Mars), Trauma, chris skelton - Freeform, first Christmas alone, ray carling - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:29:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28416150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youstupidplonk/pseuds/youstupidplonk
Summary: Why should the world take notice of one more love that's failed?A love that could never be, though it meant a lot to you and me.On a worldwide scale, we're just another winter's taleSet after the ending of Life on Mars. No major spoilers for Life on Mars.Minor spoilers for 1x01 and 2x04 of Ashes to Ashes, but set pre ashes (They are references to Sam)
Relationships: Annie Cartwright/Sam Tyler
Kudos: 4





	Just another winter’s tale

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you are well. 
> 
> I realised I don't haven't written a lot of life on mars stuff and I wanted to change that, as it's Christmas / holiday season I wanted to do something that fit that and I was inspired by the song "A Winter's Tale" by David Essex, which I will link to at the bottom of the fic (as well as being the inspiration for this fic, it is also where the summary and title are from) :)
> 
> Rated mature for themes around grief and loss. 
> 
> (PS: Thank you to Hyperpluviophile for beta reading - you are an absolute lad!)

Annie sighed as she dropped her head back onto the pillow. Like so many mornings over the past few months when she had first woken up she hadn’t felt like anything was wrong. It was just another ordinary day. Then she would turn over to see the empty space next to her and the crushing reality would set in once again. 

~~~~  
It had been a normal day, at the point in October where the fallen leaves were changing from crisp to wilted. It had been the first day she had noticed the change as they’d walked to the station, hand in hand. They’d barely set foot in CID before Gene barked at Sam to “Get his arse in the car pronto tonto because the bastards were starting earlier than expected”. He’d barely had time to kiss her cheek and say goodbye before he was being shoved down the corridor back to the doors of the station. 

Even after that, the day had felt so painfully normal. It was only during lunch when she’d gone to sit with Phyllis that everything had changed. 

They had a tradition, even after Annie was promoted. If she wasn’t out on the streets they would eat lunch together, both keeping their radios with them in case of an emergency. They’d never needed them before so it was something of a shock when Gene’s voice suddenly interrupted them. 

“Dobbs, do you read me? Dobbs? DOBBS!” He bellowed through the radio. Something about the urgency in his voice twisted Annie’s stomach. Instantly she knew something was wrong. 

After a moment’s hesitation, Phyllis picked up her radio. Seeing the fear in Annie’s eyes she tried to keep her voice steady. “I’m here Guv. Calm down”, reaching across the table she took Annie’s hand “What’s going on?”

There were a few moments before Gene replied, his words turned Annie’s blood to ice “We’ve lost contact with Tyler” he sighed “He was talking and then there was screeching and we lost him. I can’t get through to him, Chris can’t, Litton-” He broke off “No one’s heard from him”. 

Phyllis pushed away from the table “Where was he last?” she asked, snapping into action “I’ll send uniform out-” 

Annie also stood up “I’m going with them” she announced, desperately trying to control the wave of emotion rising up in her chest. 

Gene cursed “Cartwright have you been there the whole-, Dobbs why didn’t you-” he stopped mid-rant, realising they were wasting time. “Dobbs we’re by the river, Eastside. Send uniform down the road by the docs. Cartwright-” if Annie hadn’t known better she would have sworn there was a crack in Gene’s voice as she spoke. “I don’t want you coming to the river” he began “Not because I don’t think you’re a good enough copper to deal with it. Because I know you’re a good copper. I don’t want you to come because I know this might not be very pretty and you deserve better than that. Personally, I think you shoul-”

Annie took the radio off Phyllis “Please, don’t send me home Guv” she whispered “I can’t sit there waiting for news” Her voice cracked as tears filled her eyes “Give me something to do at the station but please don’t send me home”

Although she couldn’t see Gene’s face she could hear the fight going out of him. “Fine, we’re behind on paperwork, if you would be so kind” he muttered “But don’t leave until we get back. We’ll take you home.”

Although Gene couldn’t see her, Annie nodded. 

That’s what she’d done. She’d gone back up to CID and thrown herself into the task of updating the paperwork that they seemed to be constantly behind on. She’d been vaguely aware of Phyllis hovering around CID. Clearing mugs and ashtrays from the other desks, even though she probably should have been on desk duty. She was grateful though. She didn’t want to be alone. 

After what felt like days but in reality was probably only a few hours Guv, Ray and Chris pushed back through the doors into CID. Annie stood up, as she took in the sight of the three of them her heart dropped. Sam wasn’t with them. Frantically her brain tried to justify why he wasn’t there. He could have just gone to the loo, or maybe he’d taken a different car. Trying to find her voice she swallowed down the lump in her throat “What-what happened?” She cursed how shaky her voice was, she knew after seven years in CID that showing emotions was _clearly_ a sign of weakness. When none of her colleagues told her to pack it in she felt the fear twist itself around her lungs. Stepping forward she noticed both Ray and Chris dropped their gaze, unable to look at her. That in itself told her enough.

Gene stepped forward and gently led her back to her chair. Leaning against her desk he sighed “I’m sorry Cartwright” he began. 

Annie didn’t hear anything else. She was vaguely aware of Ray’s hand awkwardly patting her shoulder, of Chris pushing a cup of tea across the desk, Phyllis’s arm around her but none of it registered. She looked over at Sam’s desk, exactly as he’d left it the day before, and realised he’d never sit there again. 

~~~  
The sudden sound of the doorbell drew her out of her thoughts and she sighed. She hadn’t been expecting anyone today, it being Christmas. Her sister had invited her over to share Christmas dinner, but she couldn’t bring herself to accept. She felt like going elsewhere for Christmas would be like leaving Sam to spend Christmas on his own, ridiculous as that sounded. But this had been their home for five years. Five Christmases they had shared here, it felt wrong to be anywhere else. 

Pulling on her dressing gown, she dragged herself down the stairs to the front door. As she looked around she felt the ghost of a smile grace her face. Curled up in his bed under the stairs was Harry, the Airedale terrier Sam had inexplicably arrived with one night, only a few weeks after they’d got married. Although she’d been surprised by his appearance, there was no question of whether he could stay or not, he’d lived with them ever since.

She’d taken so long that whoever was at the door rang the bell again. Annie sighed and pulled the door open to be greeted by Phyllis, who was wrapped up against the winter morning. 

“Alright Love?” she asked barely giving Annie a chance to respond before she carried on “I was just passing and I wondered if you fancied a walk.” She gestured around “It’s a lovely morning”

Annie nodded mutely as she looked past Phyllis. She wasn’t wrong. It had snowed for the better part of the previous day and although it wasn’t snowing anymore the ground was still covered with a thick blanket. Glancing up at the bright sunshine she winced, something about it made her feel sick. “I don’t know” she began, biting her lip “I mean-”

Phyllis sighed before patting her arm affectionately. “I think it would do you good” she interrupted gently. “I remember the first Christmas after I lost my hubby. I understand you want to be here and I promise we don’t have to be very long but I do think it would do you good.

While they were talking Harry lifted his head. Stretching, he trotted down the hall wagging his tail. When neither of the two noticed him he barked softly. Phyllis looked down and smiled “Even if you don’t think it’ll do you good. I think your little fella wants to go.”

Annie reached down and patted his head before looking back up at Phyllis. She considered arguing but then she spotted the determination in her eyes. Reluctantly she nodded. “Alright, I’ll go and get changed.” 

Phyllis smiled and nodded “I’ll wait here.”

~~~~~~  
Looking at the clock as she pulled off her boots Annie sighed, it was quarter to twelve. Still at least fifteen minutes before she could justify pouring a drink. As she collapsed on the sofa she looked for something to fill the time. Rummaging around under the cushions for the remote she turned on the television. Finding nothing other than songs of praise she cursed. It wasn’t much but it would have to do, she was just glad that she and Sam had never really gone to church together at Christmas. The voices of the choir was the kind of mindless noise she’d wanted, it was oddly peaceful. The brief moment of calm was soon interrupted when Harry, suddenly careered towards the door, barking madly. She was about to tell him to stop when someone knocked insistently at the door. With a sigh, she pushed herself back up off the sofa and unlocked the door. 

“Morning Annie!” Chris’s attempt to be cheerful might have irritated her, made her angry even, had she not caught sight of the caution in his eyes. Besides, she felt like she had no right to be irritated with him. He was one of the only members of CID who had treated her like a police officer. Since the accident, most of CID had been walking on eggshells around her and she couldn’t really blame them. Her mother had always said that people found others' grief scary. Grief, she had explained, was unpredictable. One day someone might laugh and tell outrageous stories about their loved one, while other days the mere mention of a name could bring someone to tears. She knew now from experience her mother had been right, and as a result, most of the men in CID had kept their distance. 

Ray and Chris had too for a few days. Phyllis had taken several days' leave to stay with her and had essentially kept her and Harry alive for those few days. Gene had dropped them at home _that_ day and although he had come around several times, with Ray and Chris in tow at least once, she couldn’t bring herself to see them. Although she’d worked in CID for seven years she felt her position still wasn’t secure enough for her colleagues to see her in such a vulnerable state. She felt guilty about it now but at the time it had felt like the right thing to do. What surprised her was when she arrived back at the station after five days away, where most of her colleagues had pretended she didn’t exist Ray and Chris had surprised her. Although they didn’t fuss over her, over the course of the day she noticed several things they had done to try and make it slightly easier for her. From the cup of tea Chris had left on her desk when she had arrived and the cups of tea that followed, to the cheese sandwich Ray had dropped on her desk at half-past twelve, with a quiet _“You need a break love.”_ Both of which had been touching gestures and she had appreciated them. One gesture stood out in her mind. 

She had been so wrapped up in a case file, relishing the feeling of having something to focus on that wasn’t the events of the previous week when it suddenly dawned on her that CID was empty with the exceptions of her, Chris, Ray, and the Guv. Looking down at her watch she realised it was nearly eight o’clock. Frantically she began stacking the case files on her desk, realising how pitiful it must have seemed. She could almost hear their thoughts _Cartwright is still here so she can avoid going back to an empty house_. In her haste to leave CID before any of them could attempt any kind of sympathy she nearly tripped over. Surprisingly it was Ray who stepped forward and steadied her. 

“Careful” he muttered, taking her bag out of her hands “I’ll carry it to the car for you.” 

Annie was momentarily taken aback, she felt the tears that seemed simultaneously endless and nonexistent sting her eyes. Blinking furiously she tried to brush Ray off “Thanks Ray, but honestly, I’m alright” she whispered.

Ray shook his head “Bollocks” he muttered gently, behind them Chris muttered something in agreement. Pulling out the chair from under his desk Ray gestured for Annie to sit down. “We all know you’re not. But that’s only to be expected really after-” he caught himself quickly, but not quite quickly enough. Annie opened her mouth, immediately ready to take all her guilt and grief out on him. _So finally Ray Carling has decided to join society in the good year of 1980 as he discovers...drumroll please…grief! And he realises that people feel like shit when they’re grieving. Someone give the man a medal!_ Luckily, she thought later, she’d caught herself before she’d said anything she might’ve regretted. Nothing that had happened this past week had been Ray’s fault, not really. He’d also been one of the only people in this station to still treat her like a human, not a ghost. With a flash of guilt, she realised why she was angry with Ray, well, with all three of them truthfully. It was because they had survived and Sam hadn’t. Obviously, she wished the accident hadn’t happened at all. But that didn’t stop a part of her thinking _Why did it have to be Sam?_. 

She hadn’t consciously changed her demeanor in any way but it seemed the others had detected a shift in the atmosphere. Ray stepped back slightly and leaned against Chris’s desk. Chris glanced at him and then at Annie.” I think what Ray is trying to say is, we know none of us understand, and we don’t want to make this any harder for you than it already is” he stuttered, his voice weighed with genuine, deep-running sympathy but laced with uncertainty. The uncertainty was highlighted when he glanced at Gene, leaning against the door of his office, a bottle of single malt in hand, who nodded at him. Inhaling shakily he tried to meet Annie’s eyes “We had an idea and you can say no” he started cautiously.

Annie laughed softly, one of the first times she’d laughed since coming back to work. “Well now I’m filled with confidence” she chuckled weakly, almost surprised that none of her superior offices called her out on being so mouthy “What is it?” she asked. 

Chris shifted off his desk and paced around CID. “We know it’s difficult, having to come in here and see-“ If Annie hadn’t known better she would have sworn she heard a slight crack in Chris’s voice “Sam’s desk, particularly when-” He stopped, not needing to say anymore. This time Annie was sure she’d caught a little hint of grief beneath his concern for her. 

Gene sighed and pushed away from the door “I think what the boys are trying to say is that, if it would make things easier” he walked across CID and leaned momentarily against Sam’s desk before moving to stand next to Annie “You can move to Sam’s desk. If it’ll make things easier for you” He had mostly avoided her gaze, but as he finished he looked up. 

Annie felt a lump form in her throat, she had already considered the reality that someone else would have to be brought in. After all, CID needed a DI, but she knew it would be painful. Looking at Sam’s desk day after day, only having it not be Sam’s desk anymore. Slowly she nodded “It would.” She whispered “It really would”

“Sorry to disturb you at Christmas” Ray’s voice brought her back to the present. “But we wanted to drop these off in person.” For the first time, Annie noticed the two bouquets they were holding. 

Ray’s was surprisingly Christmassy. A tasteful mixture of red Gladiolus, poinsettia, and pine branches, tied up with gold ribbon. Chris held a bouquet of pure white lilies, tied up with silver ribbon. Annie took a moment to take in what they had done for her. It briefly crossed her mind that they may have been bullied into it by the Guv, but even if they had she doubted he would have dipped into his own pockets to pay for them, and judging by the size of the bouquets and the flowers used she knew they wouldn’t have been cheap. Stepping to the side she shook herself “Sorry, come in. It’s freezing”

Ray gave her a half-smile as he walked past her “ didn’t like to say anything but now you mention it” he chuckled, slipping his boots off before turning around “Where do you want these” he asked, holding the flowers out to her. 

Annie blinked “Um...The kitchen, sorry” she scrambled down the hall so she could show Ray and Chis into the kitchen. Restlessly she turned around, suddenly not quite sure of herself “Can I make either of you a cup of tea?” She asked, already taking down mugs. As she reached for the teabags she caught one of the mugs with her wrist, knocking it over. Although it didn’t smash Annie felt tears sting her eyes. Cursing she picked up the mug with shaking hands, only to find Chris put his hand over hers. 

“Don’t worry” he muttered “We won’t stay for too long” He sensed that Annie wasn’t entirely at ease with them being there, but she shook her head. 

“I can’t just offer you nothing after you’ve come all this way” she replied, looking around the kitchen frantically. She stood up and opened the cupboard. Hoping Ray and Chris didn’t notice how empty they were. It wasn’t that money had become tight, she was still working and although she now only had one person’s income she was only trying to feed one person. It was just that she barely had the energy to go food shopping anymore. She didn’t see the point in buying decent food if she was going to be the only one to eat it. Reaching up she found what she was looking for. “At least have some garibaldis” she pleaded adding quickly “Come on, it’s not like they’ll spoil your lunch is it?”. 

Chris and Ray exchanged a look, which didn’t go unnoticed by Annie, before taking a garibaldi each and passing the packet back to Annie. Ray swallowed and gestured to the flowers “Do you want us to do anything with them?” He asked, shrugging slightly. It was clear that he knew something needed doing to them, but also that he didn’t have the faintest idea what. 

Annie shook her head. “Don’t worry” she sighed, walking past Chris and Ray to pull a couple of vases out of the cupboard over the sink. “I'll pop them in here” she muttered, filling both vases with water and arranged the flowers in them carefully. Turning back to Chris and Ray she smiled briefly“Thank you both” she gestured to the flowers “You didn’t have to-” she added. 

“Don’t be ridiculous” Ray interrupted gently “We all know you needed something to smile about today, if we were able to help with that then I’m glad”. His sincerity surprised Annie and she felt some of the tightness in her chest ease slightly. “We’ll let you get on with your Christmas now Annie, but if you need anything” he paused, to emphasise his point “You know where we are.” Annie raised her eyebrows, unable to keep her surprise at bay any longer, noticing her surprise Ray carried on “Good coppers stick together”

Chris nodded in agreement “CID failed you once, we aren’t going to let it happen again.” Like Ray, his tone was sincere. 

Annie stopped for a moment before surprising herself and Ray and Chris. Without thinking about it she threw her arms around each of them in turn. When she pulled back, her eyes were glassy “Thank you”, she whispered. 

Ray and Chris said nothing but both awkwardly patted her arms, before mumbling something about leaving. 

Almost as soon as Ray and Chris had left the doorbell rang again. Annie turned around and opened the door, expecting to be greeted with Ray and Chris claiming they had forgotten something. She hadn’t expected to see Jackie Queen, a woman who eight years ago had nothing to do with her until a hostage situation had crossed her path with Sam and Annie’s. In the years that followed, she became one of the most important friends she and Sam had outside CID. Annie opened the door wide and forced a smile onto her face. 

“Jackie! It’s- it-’s good to see you!” She stammered“I haven’t seen you since-” her voice caught in her throat as she remembered the last time she had seen Jackie. 

It had been quite quick really. Ten days later. Annie had tried to lose herself in the crowd of CID, make herself invisible. She knew those who offered condolences meant well, but it didn’t stop each expression of sympathy from widening the crack in her heart, every tearful hug reinforced the truth she’d been so desperately trying to ignore. 

Apart from one.

Although she was clearly grieving herself, trying to make sense of the sudden death of a dear friend, she’d made a beeline for Annie, her black blazer flapping as she ran to her and threw her arms around her, enveloping her in a rose and lemon-scented hug. One of the only shows of sympathy that day they felt like it was healing rather than inflaming the guilt and grief.

Jackie nodded sadly “I know, love.” She stepped forward and wrapped Annie in another hug of lemon and roses. “And I’m so sorry”

Annie shrugged and carefully stepped out of Jackie’s grip “It’s not your fault” she sighed, before suddenly shaking herself “My God you must be freezing, come in, come in” she moved aside to let Jackie in. As Jackie stepped into her hallway she turned and walked to the kitchen “I’ll go and put the kettle on” she began “I’m not sure I’ve got much in the way of edible refreshments but-” she stopped short when Jackie put a hand on her arm. 

“Honestly Annie don’t worry” Jackie murmured absent-mindedly. She removed her hand from Annie’s arm and lifted the bag she’d brought with her off her shoulder. Without giving Annie a chance to protest she pushed it into Annie’s hand. “I know that when you’re on your own, it’s hard to bother with getting yourself a decent meal, but you deserve to eat. I mean” she took a moment to breathe, her concerned gaze raking over Annie “I love you but you’re wasting away.” She sighed, before smiling slightly as Harry trotted down the hall, wagging his tail at her. If you don’t do it for yourself then please” She bent down to scratch his ears “Do it for Harry.” She looked up at Annie “He needs you”

Annie sighed and wiped her eyes, aware of the tears that had once again begun to fill them. “I suppose you’re right,” she confessed “I just never feel like it anymore.” She gestured around the kitchen. The table where she and Sam would have breakfast together, desperately trying to solve the crosswords before leaving for work. Where they would flick vegetable peeling at each other as they cooked dinner together. “It’s one of the few things we would always do _together_ ” On the last word her voice cracked and the tears she’d spent most of the morning trying to suppress began spilling down her cheeks. 

Jackie sighed and pulled Annie back into her arms. Gently shushing her she carefully moved her hand up and down Annie’s back. “I know love, I know.” Resting her cheek on Annie’s head she continued “but you can’t carry on like this. You aren’t doing yourself any favours and more than that-” Jackie stopped for a moment, considering what she was going to say. She pulled back and rested her hands on Annie’s shoulders, looking her in the eye “Can you tell me honestly that this is what Sam would have wanted you to do?” she asked. 

Annie looked down “Honestly Jackie I think he’d be fuming” she whispered.

Jackie tutted sympathetically “I thought so” she replied, moving around Annie to switch the oven on. “I understand why you didn’t want to leave the house today” she paused and looked around, not quite meeting Annie’s eyes “but would you object to having company for lunch?”

Annie smiled tearfully and pulled out a chair “of course not” she replied, gesturing for Jackie to sit down. “As long as you’re sure I’m not keeping you from other plans” she added.

Jackie laughed softly “honestly Annie, if I had other plans I wouldn’t have offered”.

~~~~~~  
After they had eaten, the two women settled on the sofa, Jackie was unnervingly quiet. Annie turned to her and frowned “Is everything alright Jackie?“ she asked quietly. Internally she cursed herself for not asking sooner. They were meant to be friends for God’s sake and Annie hadn’t asked her how she was. 

Jackie didn’t seem bothered. She took a sip of her tea before placing the mug down. She rummaged in her bag and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “I've finished it,” she muttered quietly, glancing over at Annie. “I’m sorry it’s taken so long, but I wanted to make sure I did it justice”.

Annie felt her stomach jolt as she realised what Jackie was holding In her hand. So much had happened that she had almost forgotten about the obituary she’d asked Jackie to write. They had put a death announcement in the paper to share the date of the funeral but beyond that nothing had been done. She was only vaguely aware of Jackie pushing the sheet into her hand and standing up.

“I’ll let you read it in your own time love,” she spoke softly as she picked up her bag “but I should probably head off soon”

Annie stood up quickly “of course, sorry I’ve kept you here” she rushed “but thank you so much for coming it means a lot”

Jackie smiled and pulled her into a hug “of course love” she stopped to put on her coat “I’ll call you tomorrow” she promised.

Annie nodded “alright” she replied as she unlocked the front door for Jackie “thank you again for coming”

Shaking her head Jackie laughed again “don’t mention it, if I can’t look after you at Christmas when can I?” She asked, Waving goodbye to Annie as she walked down the path to the road.

Annie waited until Jackie was out of sight before heading back into her sitting room. Cautiously, like it might have burned her she picked up the obituary Jackie had left. She started to open it, before a wave of terror overtook her, causing her to drop it in favour of walking to the drinks cabinet. Pouring herself a large tumbler of scotch she downed three-quarters of it before refilling the glass with shaking hands. Feeling slightly calmer she sat back down on the sofa and opened the obituary. 

_I am honoured to be writing this piece, but devastated that it is necessary. I had the pleasure of knowing DI Sam Tyler personally and I never knew a more loved human. He was so important to so many. He was a loving husband, a best friend, and a dedicated colleague. He arrived in my life rather explosively eight years ago, when he was called to a hostage situation at this paper’s offices. Once he had saved those of us being held hostage, we stayed in touch and he was one of the warmest, open people I have ever met._

_One of the reasons for the delay in this obituary is I wanted to let others who knew him tell their stories, his best friends and colleagues. Compiling these stories took some time, but now we have them. Starting with Detective Sergeant Ray Carling_

Annie blinked in surprise, of everyone in CID she might have expected to say something about Sam, Ray would definitely not have been on that list, least of all first. The open but muted hostility between them was obvious and many a time had Gene barked at them to _Stop bickering like a bunch of girls_. Sighing, she took another mouthful of scotch before continuing. 

_When Tyler first arrived, we didn’t always see eye to eye. He’d taken the role I’d just put in a promotion for which kind of set me against him from the start. I see now that he was worthy of the job. He was a credit to the force and it won’t be the same without him - DS Ray Carling_

Inhaling shakily, Annie lowered the sheet of paper. She hadn’t realised Ray had thought so highly of Sam, they had almost constantly bickered in CID over the smallest things, but somehow she knew that he’d been honest with Jackie. Blinking furiously she scanned the page for the next comment. 

_Boss? he wanted to make the world better and he did. He always made time for people and looked out for them. Myself included. I’ve never been a brilliant copper, but knowing him made me a better copper and a better person - DC Chris Skelton_

Annie felt a sob rise in her throat and for the first time, she didn’t try and choke it back down. Although she hadn’t missed the starry-eyed way Chris had looked at Sam, she hadn’t realised how affected Chris had been by Sam’s death. It made sense really, in hindsight, how sympathetic Chris had been towards her. How much effort he’d put into trying to make her feel better. It wasn’t just helping her, it was helping him. Allowing a few tears to fall she carried on. 

_Sam Tyler was a joy to be around._ Annie smiled as she took in Phyllis’s words. For all she’d complained about the men in the station being pigs it was common knowledge that she had a bit of a soft spot for Sam. _A kind-hearted soul who looked out for others, no matter the personal cost. He lost his life looking after Manchester. I’m proud to say I worked with him - WPS Dobbs_

Wiping her eyes, she looked to the bottom of the page, one tribute left. With shaking hands, she lifted the paper back up. 

_Sam Tyler was the best officer I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. But more importantly than that, he was the most loyal friend I’ve ever had-_

Annie dropped the paper on the floor and gasped. For weeks she had felt numb, still, unable to feel anything but now, seeing the tributes from the others had brought out all the emotions she had forgotten how to feel. Resting her head in her hands she finally allowed herself to cry. 

~~~  
It felt like hours had passed before Annie’s sobs finally subsided. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and looked around. Picking the obituary up off the floor she placed it carefully on the coffee table and sighed. Her head was pounding and her throat was raw. Pushing up off the sofa she began to walk towards the kitchen with the intention of getting herself a glass of water and washing her face. As she left the living room she jumped slightly when the doorbell rang again. Wiping her eyes she glanced through the peephole and immediately wrenched the door open. 

“Guv?” She couldn’t hide her surprise“What are you doing here?” she asked. He’d mentioned spending Christmas day with his wife and she hadn’t expected him to be in contact with any of them for at least three days. 

Gene scoffed “Merry Christmas to you too flash knickers” He looked her up and down and she readied herself for whatever tasteless comment he might be about to make. He surprised her by tutting sympathetically “Come on Love, you need a drink.” He held out a bottle of scotch “Didn’t know if you’d have anything in”. Without waiting for another word he marched down the hall and into her living room. 

Annie followed him, feeling slightly stunned. “I don’t mean to sound disrespectful sir but-” she began cautiously. 

“Why am I here?” Gene interrupted, turning round. Annie nodded out of surprise and Gene sighed “Missus chucked me out” he began, then seeing Annie was about to speak quickly added “Don’t tell me you’re sorry Carwright, it’s been a long time coming.” As he spoke he walked to the drinks cabinet, picking up two glasses he poured to generous measures of scotch. “I haven’t really been fair to her, married to the job an’ all that” he pushed one of the glasses into Annie’s hand “She made some comment about how I love my team more than I love her” he took a long sip “I mean I’m not sure she was wrong”

Annie paused her drink midway to her lips, a distant memory coming to the forefront of her mind. At the funeral she’d barely been aware of anything other than Phyllis’s arm looped through hers, supporting her both physically and emotionally. It was only when they’d made their way through the church to the front had she caught sight of her Guv and his wife glaring at each other. Moments later Gene had thrown himself down on the pew next to her awkwardly patting her shoulder he rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. 

“Infact” Gene’s voice brought her back to the present “I know she wasn’t wrong.” He lit a cigarette “We were badly suited, always were” He inhaled and exhaled a steady stream of smoke “but we aren’t here to talk about me Cartwright” he nodded towards her, her eyelashes still damp and face still flushed. “I guess it’s been tough?”

Annie nodded “I was planning to spend the day in bed to be honest Guv” she took a few mouthfuls of scotch “but it feels like every five minutes someone’s been at the door”

Gene looked up in surprise “Have they?”

Annie nodded and took another sip of scotch “Phyllis dragged me and Harry out for a walk this morning”

Gene scoffed “Pushy madam”

Annie rolled her eyes “It did me the world of good actually” she looked around her “I probably would have gone mad if I’d stayed here all day.” She set her drink down on the table in front of her “Then Ray and Chris brought these over” she gestured to the flowers on the table. 

Gene spluttered slightly on his drink “Those two tarts bought these?” He looked at the flowers in surprise “Considering how little dress sense those two have between them those are actually quite nice”

Annie laughed “They’re beautiful, I was surprised” she picked up her drink and took another sip “Then Jackie brought over food”

Gene nodded in approval “Good.” He sighed, taking in another drag of smoke “Jackie may be a difficult mare but she’s got a brain I’ll give her that” 

Nodding in agreement Annie dropped her gaze. “She brought the obituary round as well” she whispered, eyes flicking briefly to the coffee table before back to her lap. She took a few steadying breaths before looking over at Gene. “Thank you, for what you said. I appreciated it and I know Sam would have done too”

Gene didn’t speak but raised his glass to her in a silent toast and Annie felt her heart easy slightly. In that moment she felt better than she had done in a long time. Gene looked down suddenly and Annie sensed something wasn’t right. 

“Guv?” she began cautiously “Is everything alright?” 

Gene sighed and downed the rest of his drink “Sorry Cartwright” he muttered “For the shitshow of a year you’ve had” He glanced up at her “I can’t tell you how well I think you’ve coped. I know if I was in your situation I’d be angry with everyone.” 

Annie frowned “What do you-” 

Gene interrupted to clarify “Angry because your world has collapsed around you” he took another swig of scotch “and everyone around you gets to carry on like life hasn’t changed” He looked down and Annie felt her stomach twist. Instinctively she knew there was something Gene wasn’t telling her. He pushed himself up off the sofa and sighed “I’ve worked these streets since I was nineteen. I thought I’d stay here forever” As he spoke he wandered over to the photos on the mantelpiece. Annie felt her stomach twist as she realised where Gene was going with what he was saying. He stopped and stared at one particular photo. The photo from her and Sam’s wedding, with the boys of CID and Phyllis. It had been one of Sam’s favourite photos from that day and as a result she’d moved it from Sam’s bedside table to the mantel. She braced herself for what she knew Gene was going to say. That didn’t make it any easier to hear. “I’m leaving” he muttered quietly, turning around but not quite meeting her eyes. “End of January, transferring to the Met.”. 

Although reason told her she should have been angry, Annie felt strangely calm “Chris and Ray?” she asked, although she knew what the answer would be. She couldn’t imagine Gene would leave without telling them and she knew that they wouldn’t let him go alone. 

Gene nodded “I haven’t told them yet, but I’m guessing they’ll move as well.” He refilled his scotch and downed a significant portion of the glass before continuing. “I wanted to tell you first.” He confessed, meeting ehr eyes for the first time “I was worried that it might have been...”

Annie shook her head, whatever he was going to say she knew wouldn’t have been true. “If it’s what you need to do Guv then it’s what you need to do” she whispered honestly. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to leave. Sam had told her in confidence about Guv's brother, who had died of a drug overdose. Now his wife was gone. It was no small wonder he wanted a change. Sighing she carried on “And I can’t be angry at you for that,” after a moment’s pause she added “And Sam wouldn’t be either. I promise you”

Gene looked back down at his shoes “I appreciate that Cartwright” he mumbled “I’m sorry if it feels like I’m abandoning you” 

Annie laughed softly “I promise you it doesn’t Guv”, she drained the remainder of her scotch and stood up to join him at the drinks cabinet. “As long as you aren’t taking Phyllis I think I will survive” 

“Take Dobbs?” Gene snorted “I’d never have a moment's peace. Still,” He paused and looked around “I hope you know should you fancy a change there would be a spot on my new team for you”

Annie cursed internally as she felt tears filling her eyes again “Thank you Guv” she replied, her voice wavering “I appreciate it, I really do but-” she broke off and looked around the living room. A room that still held so much of Sam. “I just feel like it’s too soon for that kind of change.”

Gene nodded “I understand” he tutted sympathetically “But I don’t just mean now. If ever you think of leaving paradise here, just get on the blower and I’ll make sure there’s a job for you if you ever want it.”

“Thank you Sir” Annie smiled. She gestured to the drinks cabinet. “Do you want another?” she asked. 

To her surprise Gene shook his head “No thanks Love.” He rolled up his sleeve and looked at his watch. “I should probably be off anyway” he muttered “I told Ray I was lodging at his tonight, he’s expecting me soon.” 

Annie nodded “If you’re sure Guv” she replied and when he nodded she smiled in return. “I’ll see you out though”

As they reached the front door Gene stopped “Will you be alright?” he asked with what Annie could only describe as brotherly concern for her. 

Taking a moment to think about it she sighed before replying “Yes. I might not have been eight hours ago, but honestly. I will be alright Guv” She paused for a moment, seeing a frown still etched on Gene’s face “If I have any problems I will call Phyllis or Jackie. I’m speaking to Jackie again tomorrow anyway” she added before opening the door. Glancing around outside she caught sight of the cortina “Will you be alright Guv? I mean the roads are-”

“Covered in bastard snow. Yes I did notice” Gene interrupted. “But I got here just fine and I will get to Carling’s just fine” although his tone wasn;t harsh, it was the closest to his “Manc Lion” tone Annie had heard all day. Seeing the concern on Annie’s face he sighed “Will it stop you worrying your pretty little head if I call you when I get there?” He wasn’t sure if he was joking or not, but to his surprise Annie nodded.

“It would”

Gene sighed “Alright then. I will,” as he walked out the door and down the path he stopped and turned around. “Cartwright?” he barked, before Annie could shut the door completely. 

Opening the door again Annie sighed “Yes Guv?”

“Merry Christmas.” He replied, raising his hip flask to her. 

Annie felt her face pull into a genuine smile as she watched him walk “Merry Christmas Guv” although she knew he probably wouldn’t have heard her from where he was she spoke again “Thank you”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this fic, Happy Holidays!
> 
> As always please leave any thoughts in the comments
> 
> This is the link to the song which inspired the fic, it's a lovely song and worth a listen :) xxx
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0Zq4voaXXM


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